Sunday, February 28, 2010

Where I stand.

Sunday morning. I was helping a friend out today teach the 4 year olds at church during the 8:30am Sunday School hour. Halfway through class I excused myself to go to the restroom and saw what any pregnant girl fears for. I went to get Matt out of SS class and broke into tears telling him. We called the DR immediately and she said since I did not have cramping to try to relax the rest of the day and come in first thing in the morning to their office for an ultrasound. Matt and I are sitting in church holding each other and I can't stop thinking, "I've been under too much stress with situation "x"" and "I shouldn't have moved those things yesterday, I pushed myself way too hard," "I haven't been eating like I should.", "I should have been drinking more water." All things I should have done differently or better to have prevented this - if "this" is what it is. It's funny how you can be in church, God's place of worship, and be overcome with guilt in an instant.

After we spoke to the Dr, I told Matt I wanted to go sit in the chapel - where we have our service at 9:45am and listen to the band prepare for our worship service. I cried more walking there and tried to "contain myself" but knew if I left church, I wouldn't be facing the One person I knew who would get us through this. If you (whoever is reading this) do not have a relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ, I am telling you now that your life is not complete. I will not know until tomorrow morning where we stand with our pregnancy, but I know our Lord is faithful. Matt told me that anything that comes our way, we'll be able to handle it because we have Christ on our side and He'll carry us through. I had several dear, dear friends come up to me and though they didn't know exactly what was wrong, told me we were in their prayers. My sweet friend, Dawn, (I call her "my Paul" because she's my older friend who has a lot more wisdom and guidance than I do!) waved at me when she walked into the service and I smiled and waved back. She came to me at the end of the service and said, "Erin, the spark is not in your eyes, I've been praying for you. What's wrong?" She prayed with me right then and there. Just knowing that God is loving on us is SUCH a comfort. I have a very uneasy feeling for the outcome tomorrow morning. That's not to say that I do not have faith. I do. I have faith that if He is to work it out now, He will and if it is not meant to be right now, He won't. I sure hope He does though!!! And God knows that. We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28.

I'm just so thankful to have a God who cares for us and will carry us through anything that comes our way.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Choosing Words and Random Update

The other day I was carrying Kathryn and for as long as I can remember, when I carry her she puts her little arm around my neck so her hand kind of just rests on my neck. I just love the feeling. It's like a constant "half hug" while I'm carrying her. Matt was out of town at the time so she was walking with me while we were taking Cooper for a walk. By this point, she had walked too far so I was carrying her and she let go holding onto me and was balancing herself up. Normally I could handle that but trying to walk the dog at the same time, it just wasn't going to work so I said, "Kathryn, put your arms around my neck." She did exactly as I asked...which resulted in a choke hold. Thankfully she didn't squeeze but it just tickled me that she did exactly as I asked her. Guess I need to make sure I choose my words more wisely!

One of her favorite things to ask me throughout the day: "Mama, what'a you doin'? Huuhhh?"

Potty Update: She consistently uses the potty every morning. Today she wore her big girl Elmo panties and has gone at least 4-5 times in the toilet (she even did #2 for the first time today!!)!!!! We had one accident while we were out and about but I had a change of clothes packed and she wore her diaper during naptime. She's back in her big girl panties and doing great!! One word: PROGRESS!!!! Yay!!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fun Kathryn Pictures...




I learn something new everyday...

This past Wednesday I had another doctor's appointment to check on our new little baby growing. Kathryn was with me and was such a big girl. We got to hear the heartbeat which was amazing! My doctor is the same doctor I saw when I was pregnant with Kathryn and she is just fantastic.

We started to go through the typical "discussion" part of my appointment and she's starting to open my file and casually asks me, "did your membranes rupture when you had Kathryn?" And I answer her very sternly, "NO" and I'm thinking, "Goodness NO. What a horrible thing, I'm so glad that didn't happen to me. I can just imagine how bad that would have been..." By this point she's found her notes from delivering Kathryn and she goes, "Your membranes did rupture silly, you must have forgotten." And I'm thinking, "No way I'd forget something like that. I think I would have known if something so horrific happened to me when I was giving birth. Surely I just blocked this scary event from my mind. And why didn't Matt ever tell me I went through this!?" She proceeds to read my file and it hits me. Ooohhh. Ha. Ok, I get it now. "Ruptured membranes" = "Your water broke". Well in that case, yes, my water did break and it was completely okay. If she'd casually asked me, "did your water break?" I would have casually answered, "why yes it did." Instead, my brain took me on a wild, "what in the world did I go through while I was giving birth to Kathryn that it was so tragic I FORGOT!"

So, Mom, just be happy to know that my vocabulary is constantly expanding AND your daughter apparently survived a heroic measure of having "ruptured membranes"!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Princess Potty Chair

Dear Fans, Supporters, Encouragers, and Friends,

Kathryn used her big girl potty for the FIRST time yesterday!! I have to admit, I was a little curious what would happen and I can tell you she and I both were thoroughly amused!
It really does play music when you "potty" in it! So last night was a huge success (and breakthrough) and just the beginning of fun to come. (FYI: it's 1:47pm now and she hasn't used it once today...I know what you're thinking, "girl, this is just the beginning"...) Matt missed this time of celebration so you can just imagine his eagerness to hear this contraption play sweet music when you pee in it.

Sincerely,
A Proud Mama

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My Parents

I was recently informed that I needed to blog more... Two times in January just isn't going to cut it if I'm going to be a real blogger. So, topic of choice tonight: Parenting.

Whenever anyone asks me about growing up or my parents, etc...my response is, "my parents hung the moon". I know everyone is not able to say that but to me, I truly could not have asked for anything more. Of course there were times where we disagreed, and they annoyed the living daylights out of me, but they still established a strong foundation for me to learn who Christ is and what He's all about. I can call either parent up and ask for advice and I'll know they'll be giving me something biblical.

Dad's the kind of guy who when you call him, you just know you're making his day because he always sounds like you just made it. He can always make things look better and I definitely got my "optimistic" trait from him. I remember calling him up while I was in college playing soccer and I was absolutely miserable. I called him up crying and said, "Dad, I have 130 more days of this! There's no way I can do it!" and he said, "Erin, that's just about 5 months, not even half a year. I know you can do this!" I remember thinking, he does have a point, "5 sounds a lot better than 130!!" And he was right; I made it.

Mom is the fun mom. Not the kind of mom who isn't the parent, but the mom who will play cards (or any game with you for that matter), go shopping with you, cook your favorite dinner when you need it and listen when you just need her to listen. We were in a really bad car accident when we were little and she was in a coma for a few days and had to relearn a lot of things. Her memory never quite made a full recovery, at least, that's what I believed for many years...I've just recently been introduced to the word "selective" and I have a hunch that may play a small role in hers.. But all that is to say that she is surprised when I tell her things she used to do for us that meant a lot to me.

They took us to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, VBS and church camps. They took us to soccer practice all over the state of Georgia, multiple nights a week and came to all our games. They were our #1 fans. They helped us with homework. They were consistent. They tried to lead by example and they loved us unconditionally.

I've always been and will forever be grateful. Now as a parent, I know I have a big responsibility to carry on.